I’m also ageing rapidly
I quit my NHS job and moved out with my boyfriend to a GFF full of house plants and dirty dishes. I’m applying for things and working part time at a community arts hub/pub where house doubles are like £8. The rest of the time I’m broke so I marathon True Detective and consider how pointless everything is and how long it’ll be before Henry grows bored of me. Although I can bake now.
Dear employers, I will have to take the day off today because:
☐ It’s December and the streets are papier-mached with wet bronze leaves and it’s so dark outside that the cars have their headlights on at 3pm
☐ I have recently been through a breakup, or I have been through a breakup at any time in my life really, and I woke up today with the absolute conviction that I will never be loved again
☐ A dog looked at me
☐ I got a text from someone for whom I feel a mix of concern and frustration and recognition and longing that is both more and less than romance
☐ Someone made a joke about dead pets meeting you in heaven
☐ Daylight savings time
☐ I passed a knot of flowers that were so bright they glowed through the dim grey water of the day and when was anything in my life last that luminous?
☐ Girls are too pretty
☐ For the first time I genuinely comprehend that there is not enough time to have all the lives I wanted
☐ I accidentally listened to Leonard Cohen"
what if the coins you find randomly at the bottom of drawers and in between couch cushions are actually from spiders trying to pay rent
this made me cry?
who are these people who can focus on careers because they can see past their emotions
what is that like
you are a celestial being
you are made of love and stardust
and there is somebody that smiles every time they hear your name
you are precious
please treat yourself kindly
and remember that you are one of the universe’s few remaining treasures
People = Shit
still want to smack the hell out of my face but the cheek pain wasn’t worth it for the week after last time